By: MurtuzaNullwala
By Murtuza Iqbal
Deepshikha Deshmukh is one of the most successful producers in Bollywood. She has backed movies like Sarbjit, Madaari, Jawaani Jaaneman, Coolie No. 1 and others. She is married to politician Dhiraj Deshmukh and has two lovely kids, Vansh and Diviyanaa.
Today, on Mother’s Day, we interacted with Deepshikha and spoke to her about her equation with her kids, how she balances her professional and personal life, changes in her life due to the pandemic, and a lot more…
Being a mother is surely the best feeling a woman goes through. When you became a mother, what was the first thing that came into your mind?
Yes, I can’t agree more on that. Being a mother is the purest and most beautiful feeling in the world. When one becomes a mother, the first thing that comes to mind is if my baby is safe. The first few minutes are all about that because everyone else checks the baby while you are on the bed in the operation theatre. After that, you feel overwhelmed and you feel a kind of love that you’ve never experienced before. When I was young, I always thought I couldn’t love anyone more than I loved my parents until I met Dhiraj (Deshmukh) and after I got married, I felt that there was nothing beyond that but all that changed when I became a mother. It was a love that I had never experienced before, the most beautiful kind. So yes, when you are a mother, all you want to do is love your kids unconditionally and protect them from everything. Their well-being matters the most to you.
Your kids are very young, but do they know about Mother’s Day, and is there anything special they do for you on this day?
My daughter Diviyanaa is five and a half, and my son Vansh is going to be seven next month. They are aware of Mother’s Day and for the last two years, they have been making the cutest cards for me. It feels beautiful because their handwriting is getting better and their sentences are more formed now. It is wonderful to receive cards from them where they express their love for me with their little doodles and drawings on it which is just so pure. It feels lovely. Last year on Mother’s Day, there was a lockdown and we were in Latur. With the help of Dhiraj, both the kids had a full-fledged breakfast prepared for me in bed. They gifted me flowers in a bowl. They decided the entire menu, there were eggs and bread, and as overwhelming it was, it was also the most beautiful feeling ever and something which I’ll never forget.
What kind of a mother are you? Are you a strict or a lenient mother?
I think there is a very thin line between the two. There are times when you have to be strict. But I believe in making the kids agree on what I want to do in a lenient way and I make sure that at the end, they are happy. You have to be patient with kids. Though yes, there are times when you have to be strict and put your foot down. So, I dabble between a little bit of both and believe in gentle disciplining
How was your relationship with your mother when you were growing up?
My mother has always been my best friend. I tell her everything. Ever since I was in the 8th standard, I would come to her and tell her what happened in school. I just found it comforting to tell her all that was happening. She was always very patient with me and kept the door open for communication which I intend to do with Divyanaa. I want to be that person who she would first want to come and tell how her day was or ask for an opinion. I hope I can be that mother who can maintain that balance of being a mum and also a best friend, just like my mum is to me.
When a woman is professionally doing well, there’s a mentality in society that she doesn’t give much time to kids and family. What do you have to say about this mindset that people have?
People talk about what they want to. As a woman, one knows how much time and effort goes into balancing your personal and professional life. There are times when they both overlap with each other. And for me, my kids are my priority, and no matter what time of the day they need me, I am always there for them. Technology is a boon when it comes to that because whether it is face time or Whatsapp, my kids are connected to me literally every minute of the day. There is also a little routine that I have always followed with them. I make sure that I am with them when they wake up in the morning, from their morning time to their breakfast before they start their online classes or when they used to head off to school previously. Once, they are done with their classes, they play a bit. By the time it’s time for dinner, I am back home from work. So that way, they don’t miss me at all, in fact, they don’t even know that Mumma is away and if they need me at any given point of time, they video call us, and both Dhiraj and I are there for them.
But yes, it is disheartening to see that people have a mindset that working mothers don’t give time to their kids. I can say this for all the mothers, that all of us always feel guilty about something or the other, there is self-doubt of if we are not doing enough for our children because as mothers, we want to keep doing more and better for our kids. Also, I believe when women support each other, we feel a lot more encouraged. I wish people understood that every mother in her own capacity is already doing the best that she can for her children.
In the last one year, life has changed due to the pandemic especially for mothers because the routine of kids has changed, they are mostly at home and schooling is also happening online. So, how are you managing the situation?
It is true that due to the pandemic, our routines have changed. Managing this new life was challenging initially because there is no line between your work and there is full-time school. I have two children, so two different classes going on at the same time from 9 am to 3 pm. We do have people at home to help but children still need their mother every single moment and as a mother, you also want to be there for them as these are their growing years and you understand how difficult it is for them to not be able to have teachers explain certain things to them in person. Sometimes, it gets exhausting and you feel extremely overwhelmed with the amount of things that you have to do and manage. But, the love that they give you makes you want to do it all much better. Because at the end of the day, when you see your kids smiling and laughing, you feel content from within. Their love makes it all worth it.
What do you have to say about the second wave of Covid-19 in India as it has affected a lot?
To say that it is extremely scary would be an understatement. It is disheartening to watch the news every morning and see news about another variant coming in, different mutations, vaccines, shortage of oxygen, hospitals running out of medicines, and medical supplies. I think it is extremely disturbing especially for a parent because there is news about the third wave which would be hitting soon and would affect a lot more children this time. I am hoping that there is light at the end of this tunnel and we are going to be over this really soon. I pray for the best for everyone and wish for better days while keeping my loved ones safe and happy.
Lastly, any message you want to give out to all the mothers on this Mother’s Day.
I want to tell all the mothers out there that you all are brilliant. You all are such superheroes. You have done a fabulous job in keeping your families safe. I know it is not easy to keep them safe, well-fed, protected, and positive in such difficult times. It is challenging and can be extremely overwhelming for us women. But I just want you to know that you are amazing. Please give yourselves a little pat on your back because you deserve it. Please don’t forget to love yourselves as well and to take out some ‘Me time’ every day for yourselves. Wishing all the wonderful mothers out there a very Happy Mother’s Day.
