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Things I learned this summer


by PRIYA MULJI

THIS summer was pretty much dominated by the reality dating show Love Island.

The show isn’t going to be the complete focus of my column, but it has brought to light many issues that are faced by singletons worldwide. As someone that writes about dating, it has been very thought-provoking for me.

Priya Mulji

Heartbreak is very real and can happen no matter how long you have known someone. When Amy got dumped in the show by Curtis, she was left heartbroken and decided to leave it. The very mature and elegant way she dealt with how she felt at that moment is something we can all learn from when faced with a break-up or getting ghosted by someone.

What I learnt was that walking away with your head held high and letting the other person get on with their lives is the most dignified way to deal with something as unexpected as a relationship ending. Eventually you will move on and find someone even more wonderful.

Believe this, because I have. I can also make a huge revelation that I’m not single at the moment. Yes! Shocker! Priya has a boyfriend. It’s all very new and exciting and starting to get serious. (Yes he’s approved of me writing all of this). So fingers crossed for me, perhaps going forward, in true Asian Carrie Bradshaw-style, we could call him Mr Big?
Another thing I learnt was that it doesn’t matter how old you are, what race or gender, where you are based geographically, you can fall in love with anyone at any given time and make it work. If you really love someone, you will want to make time and make the relationship work, regardless of where they live or what religion they are.

Remember to take things one step at a time and be considerate of your partner’s faith and beliefs. Rather than tackling any issues all at once, start by talking about the important things, and if there are difficulties work through them one at a time. Trust me, you’ll thank me.

Something new I learnt was the phrase ‘gas lighting’. It basically is a form of manipulation that makes someone question their own sanity and perception. This really happens in life and I have experienced it with friends of mine recently. This is never okay.

Always be totally supportive of the people around you and never belittle someone whether that’s in the workplace, in a friendship or elsewhere. If someone supports and shows up for you, never take it for granted. I have been there for a lot of people, but it hasn’t been appreciated and it’s time to keep my distance.

Ultimately what I realised was that no one can be you. There will never be someone destined to walk the path you did, apart from the wonderful person reading this line. So, believe in yourself. You can get hurt, face depression and have heartbreak, but only you have the power to make things better. Just believe in yourself.

I will leave you with a quote from Germany Kent: “Think about every good thing in your life right now. Free yourself of worrying. Let go of the anxiety, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.”