Your Voice: 'Another chance at love'

By Waheeda Soomroo

I’VE swiped, bumbled and even gone fishing where there are a plenty. I’ve uploaded profiles and pictures on dating sites and simultaneously deleted them. Now, full steam ahead, I’ve booked myself into a slow dating event, which is speed dating with an extra minute and I have been advised that this extra minute makes all the difference.

So, a bit of background; I’m a British Pakistani woman and following an unexpected, tragic turn of events I have found myself in this unforeseen born-again dating predicament.

There’s never a good time to drop into a conversation that you’re widowed, but to a prospective date or love interest it’s potentially a conversation killer. One particular male response stands out though, he asked how long it had been since I had a “serious” relationship and was he going to have to blow away industrial cobwebs. My retort assured him that it was most unlikely he would ever have the privilege of finding out.

I do wonder whether I have in fact had my fair share of the good love in my life. Do you

only get one true soul mate and when they’re gone? That’s it? It is a cruel world if I am to believe that I have no chance of companionship, intimacy and adventure, especially when there are so many sites and social media channels that tell me otherwise.

To be honest, I have come as close as a hair’s breadth to what presented itself as my true soul connection. Every fibre of my being felt connected emotionally, spiritually and on a sapiotic level, but was that just a concept driven by my romantic desire for happily ever after or a deep fear of facing old age alone?

As I travel along this journey I have met a ridiculous number of people, particularly men

who are in dissatisfied relationships, but for whatever reason they remain in that world.

Perhaps it’s security or fear of the unknown?

For me and like many others who have had to face an incomprehensible trauma, an event

that weighs so heavily on our soul and makes us reassess, and redefine our existence, we have no choice but to embrace life to the full.

The only truth is that you don’t know if what you hold in the palm of your hands will be here tomorrow, so embrace every moment as if it were your last. Follow your passion and be your authentic self for your sake and for your peace.

Of course, I’m a strong-minded independent woman and quite capable of being on my own,

but actually I want to share my days with a worthy companion.

Despite my backstory I do absolutely believe in fate, destiny, kismet; I believe in the universe conspiring to present opportunities that I can choose to become my moments. But my god, the universe is truly teaching me patience [sabr] on another level. Hopefully I will update you on my slow-speed dating adventure after the event. I go with an open mind and open heart.

• Waheeda Soomro describes herself as a complicated and audacious individual who always finds the silver lining. She loves to meet interesting soulful people and make every interaction count. Twitter: @WaheedaSoomro