Skip to content
Search

Latest Stories

Swiping right: Slim pickings for Pakistan's online daters

After endlessly swiping through pictureless profiles on dating apps, Muhammad Ali Shah still hasn't found the one -- or really anyone -- to get serious with in Pakistan.

In the ultra-conservative Islamic republic, where arranged marriages are the norm, he says many women choose to stay anonymous, making online dating matches tricky.


"It's slim pickings," sighs the 36-year-old entrepreneur living in the capital Islamabad, saying friends have called him "desperate" and a "man whore" after going on dozens of dates over the past three years to little avail.

Unlike in many countries where meeting online is routine, Pakistanis who use dating apps regularly face harassment and judgmental relatives -- and now also have to contend with a government clampdown.

Women users in particular fear possible retribution and often reveal little about themselves -- using cartoons, avatars, or random pictures of nature instead of a profile photo.

"Girls aren't comfortable... so they don't really put their pictures or their real names. So it's a guessing game," explains Shah.

The self-described conversationalist relies instead on humorous ice breakers with new matches to kickstart chats, and only asks for a picture if the potential date is comfortable and possibly up for meeting.

"Most of the time I'm just left swiping because there aren't any pictures. There's no real information. The names are not there," adds Shah.

"I don't blame women for being so careful. I actually think it's very smart."

Securing a date is just the first hurdle.

In the self-proclaimed "Land of the Pure" -- where sexual relations outside marriage, and homosexuality, are punishable with prison sentences -- dating culture is unfamiliar.

"People don't really understand the concept (of dating) in Pakistan," explains Shah, who started to use the apps after his divorce.

"You meet them once or twice and then they will be like 'we are looking for something serious'."

-'Taboo'-

A 27-year-old woman from Islamabad who was brave enough to post real photos and her name told AFP it was "kind of taboo to be on Tinder".

"I was getting phone calls from friends saying 'I can't believe you're on Tinder'," she said, asking not to be named, adding that she connected with both women and men.

But she eventually deleted the app once business clients started trying to interact with her on it.

She says some of her friends who were willing to take the risk have found varying levels of success, but only after going on carefully planned dates.

"What we do when a friend of ours is going on a Tinder date, we normally just hang out at the same place," she adds. "We make it sort of safe."

If finding love online was already difficult, authorities last month banned Tinder, Grindr and other popular apps for failing to "moderate" their content.

The move dealt a fresh blow to what is already a niche scene in the country of 220 million people, where most online daters users come from the middle and upper classes in Pakistan's urban areas.

The ban leaves other apps like Minder and Bumble outside the dragnet, while savvy users like Shah have already resorted to using VPNs to bypass the prohibition for popular platforms like Tinder.

"The biggest impact is the convenience and constancy that major stakeholders like Tinder and Grindr provided Pakistanis," says Zulfiqar Suhail Mannan, a 22-year-old musician and educator living in Lahore who identifies as being part of the LGBTQ community.

For the more traditionally inclined, life without dating apps will serve as a return to normality.

"Dating is not part of our culture or religion. Things need to be done in a halal way -- especially something as important as finding a life partner," explains a 50-year-old matchmaker based in Karachi who has been helping families find suitable partners for arranged marriages for over a decade.

"Banning these dating apps is a way to preserve our traditions."

But despite the potential pitfalls, some say finding love online is possible and a way to avoid arranged marriages.

"I'd simply had it with the whole culture of arranged marriage in Pakistan, where I'm paraded around in front of mothers, sisters and matchmakers as they pick on my flaws and remind me how I'm not worthy of their son," says a 23-year-old medical student living in Lahore who met her husband on Tinder and asked not to be named.

"It took a while until I found someone I could trust, respect, and rely on," she adds.

"But I found him on my own terms, and that's what makes it special too."

More For You

Priyanka Chopra turns heads at brother’s wedding with £1.2M necklace

Priyanka Chopra shares a heartfelt moment with brother Siddharth Chopra on Sangeet night, dazzling in a stunning Rahul Mishra ensemble and exquisite Bvlgari jewelry.

Instagram/priyankachopra

Priyanka Chopra turns heads at brother’s wedding with £1.2M necklace

Priyanka Chopra, Bollywood’s reigning queen who’s taking the world by storm, is currently basking in the joy of her brother Siddharth Chopra’s wedding to actress Neelam Upadhyaya in India. The pre-wedding celebrations have been a glittering spectacle, and Priyanka, as always, has been the epitome of elegance and poise. At the Mehendi-cum-Sangeet bash, she was truly a vision in a bespoke floral masterpiece by designer Rahul Mishra, but it was her jaw-dropping jewelry that truly stole the spotlight.

Priyanka slipped into a strapless, gem-encrusted gown dripping with intricate floral patterns, exuding pure charm and sophistication. But the real showstopper? A breathtaking Bvlgari necklace that could make even the stars jealous. Crafted in pink gold and encrusted with diamonds, the necklace featured seven pear-shaped morganites, six cushion-cut mandarin garnets, and nine cabochon amethysts. Fashion experts over at Diet Sabya pegged its value at a jaw-dropping 11,04,346.44 pounds basically wearing a fortune around her neck!

Keep ReadingShow less
New body led by Sir Sajid Javid aims to amplify ‘unheard’ voices
Sajid Javid

New body led by Sir Sajid Javid aims to amplify ‘unheard’ voices

A NEW independent commission to improve cohesion would engage across all nations and regions of the UK by moving beyond Westminster-centric discussions and include more diverse voices, the director of British Future thinktank has said.

Sunder Katwala said building confidence across different groups will be a priority, as economic pressures and tensions due to Middle East conflict have polarised communities in the UK.

Keep ReadingShow less
Yarl’s-Wood-detention-centre-Getty

In 2018, she was detained at Yarl’s Wood detention centre after being told she would be deported. (Photo: Getty Images)

Court awards £100,000 to Pakistani asylum seeker over unlawful detention

A PAKISTANI asylum seeker has been awarded nearly £100,000 after a UK court ruled that she was unlawfully detained and subjected to breaches of her rights by the Home Office.

Nadra Almas, who arrived in the UK on a student visa in 2004, overstayed after her visa expired. She argued that returning to Pakistan would put her at risk as a Christian.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pakistan court gives unusual punishment to Youtuber Rajab Butt for owning lion cub

Pakistani zookeeper Mohammad Amir holds the confiscated lion cub at Lahore’s safari zoo last Tuesday (28)

Pakistan court gives unusual punishment to Youtuber Rajab Butt for owning lion cub

A PAKISTANI YouTube star who was gifted a lion cub on his wedding day avoided jail after promising a judge to upload animal rights videos for a year.

Rajab Butt has one of the largest online followings in south Asia, and his week-long nuptials in December were plastered over celebrity gossip websites.

Keep ReadingShow less
Theft and violence in retail shops hit record high in 2024

The Labour government has pledged to address the rise in retail crime through stronger measures to tackle shoplifting and anti-social behaviour

iStock

Theft and violence in retail shops hit record high in 2024

THEFT and violence against retail workers in Britain soared to record levels last year, driven partly by criminal gangs, and are “out of control”, according to a report last Thursday (30).

The British Retail Consortium's annual crime survey found that more than 20 million thefts occurred in the year to August 31, 2024 – an average of 55,000 a day – costing retailers £2.2 billion.

Keep ReadingShow less