by ANJALI MEHTA.
HOW THE ONCE DREADED MUMMY-FICATION PROCESS SETS IN WITH MOST WOMEN AS THEY GET OLDER AND WHY IT ISN’T A BAD THING.
AS A daughter, the thought of turning into your mother may be a scary one and you made a promise that it would never happen.
But then without realising it, you have had a slow, but steady transformation into the woman who gave birth to you.
So, here are 20 signs you are turning into your mother. See how many have happened to determine how far along the mummy-fication you are.
Bedtime: You once thought having a bedtime was only for young children and would stay up late into the night. In fact, sometimes you wouldn’t go to bed because sleep had no place in your hectic life. But now once again, you have a bedtime routine and struggle to stay awake past it. You try ensuring everything is done by that time because you understand at least eight hours of sleep is important for you to function without appearing
Saturday night: An ideal Saturday night is no longer about spending ages getting ready and partying till late, but curling up on the sofa in front of the television catching up on a box set or reading a good book. You don’t tell anyone it feels like a chore getting ready; relaxing is the ideal tonic to a demanding week of work.
Comfortable shoes: Remember that addiction to sexy heels and taxi shoes? Well, that is slowly fading over time and being replaced with a desire to wear comfortable shoes. The kind that won’t leave your feet blistered and scarred like you ran a marathon barefoot. The thought of having to wear high heels now fills you with dread, whereas, before you could dance in them all night.
Bills, bills, bills: You are now a lot more aware of bills and sometimes even lie awake at night thinking about them. That is why you no longer leave random lights on and remember to switch off the heating when it’s not in use. You also get secretly annoyed when someone leaves lights on in a room they are not using.
Words of wisdom: Do you remember the days when someone older would tell you what to do,but you found it annoying and thought it was nagging. Today, you find yourself dispensing much of the same advice and it makes a lot of sense. You will often give advice when people don’t ask for it and will be available to offer an opinion.
Stocked cupboards: As a young person, your cupboards were empty, but it didn’t matter because you didn’t have time to clean or even eat.
Today, all the kitchen cupboards are stocked because you don’t want to run out of cleaning
products or snacks for when guests come over.
You will often purchase items in bulk because it’s cheaper.
Clean freak: Previosuly, you may not have been at home enough to notice how dusty your place was, but today, you have become an expert cleaner. You will find yourself telling off your partner about being messy without realising that is exactly what your mum did to you. Everything will be in the right place and easy to find. If anything is moved to the wrong place, you get exasperated.
Feed the world: One of the greatest things about your mother you didn’t notice was that she was a feeder, who didn’t let anyone stay hungry. Now you will always cook extra and way too much when guests visit. If there isn’t enough food, it’s okay, because like your mother you too have containers in the freezer filled with food ready for any emergency.
Expert cook: One Ninja-like skill your mother had – that perhaps wasn’t fully appreciated – was being able to prepare a meal with whatever was in the cupboards, even if it wasn’t
very much. Today, if you have forgotten to go shopping it doesn’t matter because you
can whip up something with whatever is in the kitchen, even if it’s just one tin, a few onions and some spices. Think baked bean curry.
The TV effect: As a youngster you’d get annoyed when your mother chatted while
the television was on and you’d snigger when she got emotional. Today, you will likely cry during a sad film or a TV show and will talk as if they can hear you. If someone has walked in late, you will make a point of narrating what has happened up until that point – even if they are not interested.
Mum bag: In your younger days, you only left the house with relatively few items and knew exactly where your keys were. You chuckled that your mum had such a large bag and wondered why she needed to leave the house with so much stuff. Today, you have that very same mum bag with all the essentials for every emergency imaginable and struggle to find what you need because the bag is loaded with so many things.
Doggy bag: You become more aware of food and never want to waste any. That is why you freeze or refrigerate surplus food. If there is food left over in a restaurant you see it as a bonus nutritious meal for the next day and ask for it to be packed.
Popular culture stranger: You would get irritable with your mother when she wasn’t up to date with the latest pop culture references and thought she was showing her age. Today, you don’t know what is topping the pop charts, who the trending pop sensation is or the hot new movie star in Hollywood is. You don’t need to know because your music list is dominated by tunes from two decades ago and your crush is now middle-aged.
Mum appreciation: As a youngster, you may have battled with your mother on a range of
things but as you got older, you realise the incredible sacrifices she made. You begin to
understand she only wanted the best for you and was trying to be protective. You appreciate your mother more than ever, just like she did hers at your age.
Staying style: As a youngster, you’d try different hairstyles and would keep up with
the latest trends. Today, you have settled on a hairstyle and love it. There may be subtle variations, but it’s essentially the same. Then you think back to your mum doing the same.
The protector: Whether it is with your close friends or children, you became a protector and will shield those you love to the point of becoming strict with them. Being overprotective to the point of annoying those you love becomes a way of life.
Superb savings: You had less money when you were a youngster. And you weren’t really
aware of any ways to make savings and probably didn’t care. Today, as you got older, you are the oracle of sales and get excited with coupons that trigger discounts.
Technology stranger: You were showing your mother how to use the latest technology and got frustrated with her for not knowing it. Today, you find it difficult to keep up with the fast-paced technological world and don’t know how to use most of the products. When someone younger tries to explain, you struggle to keep up.
Super organised: As a youngster, you were an expert at going with the flow making spontaneous plans. But today a busy life means that you need to be super organised and know what you are doing, months in advance. The schedule becomes so rigid that you’re reluctant to make any changes.
Greeting guests: Do you remember how houseproud your mother was and you often thought it was over the top? Today when someone visits, you clean the house from top to bottom and make sure the fridge is stacked with food.
Your Voice: Turn your dreams into reality
By Priti Menon.
I WAS sitting at my desk one day when I received a phone call about a potential gig. The
only thing different about this was that it was all the way in Africa for a period of three months.
Those close to me know that I don’t believe in living in constant fear of failure. I’d rather
live in a constant state of excitement of things to come. So, here, I was typing my resignation letter and mentally packing my bags to go to Africa.
I was about to quit ‘a stable job’. Was I crazy? I was suddenly overcome with fear and anxiety for what I was about to do. I found it difficult to break free from the sinister grip of societal expectations. What will my family say, will people think I’m crazy, where will I go if this doesn’t work out? I was being confined within my office walls, desperate to escape. So now that I had this opportunity to break free, why was I thinking twice?
After my last day at work, it didn’t take long before fear started to set in. Did I make the right move? Am I really cut out to live in a country I know nothing about? How am I going to survive? Against everyone’s advice, I took the leap of faith and quit my job on a Friday and found myself in sunny Morocco two days later.
However, I can safely say, it was the best decision of my life. Despite the occasional ups
and downs, I’ve come back with the most beautiful memories and friendships that I will cherish all my life.
What I’ve learned from this experience is that people will continue to tell you that life could
be so much easier if you would just do what everyone else is doing. People called me crazy
and said I shouldn’t be giving up a ‘proper job’. If that happens to you, ignore it.
Don’t ever let somebody tell you that your dreams are too big. The only person’s expectations and comments that should count are the ones that you hold for yourself. You know your strengths, weaknesses, limits and passion, so whatever anyone else thinks shouldn’t matter.
Immerse yourself in a sea of productivity to a point where you’re so busy that you don’t have time to think about failure. And finally, it’s normal to question if you’ve made the right decision. The key to staying on the path is reminding yourself what brought you to this point and the steps you must take to keep making progress. I know I’m proud of myself for choosing to escape the ordinary. Most people never make it this far.
- Priti Menon is a part-time singer and psychology practitioner working in the NHS, and a full-time foodie and traveller.