THOSE who grew up in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, likely encountered a lot of single mothers, including being brought up by them. This could have been due to divorce or the early passing of a husband. Either way, these women became our role models and those who we ultimately look up to.
One thing that many of these women had in common is that they were expected to remain single, by society and their own family members. So many of them grew into an old age filled with lowliness, despite their former husbands quickly moving on with relationships or marriages.
But women of that generation were expected to take responsibility of bringing up children, working multiple jobs and living a very lonely life.
There were no dating sites, apps or open minds encouraging these wonderful women to find a new life partner. How much of that has changed since the turn of the millennium? Although not enough, quite a bit has with the next generation, including older women, who decided not to start a family. Now more of these lovely ladies are taking back control by dating, and many are being encouraged to do so by friends and family, which is a great thing.
But there are still some sections of society that do expect women to remain on their own after a marriage ends and that needs to change. Older women, irrespective of their age, including grandparents, should be allowed to love again and be with someone.
That is why Seema Patel in Sex And The City spin-off And Just Like That is a beautiful breath of fresh air, not just for Asians, but all older women. The character, brilliantly played by British actress Sarita Choudhury, owns her sexuality and is unapologetic in her approach to dating.
It is also great to see Seema having positive parents in the show, that despite being in her 50s, they still hold hope for their daughter to find a partner.
A true reflection of society was when she was questioned by widow Carrie on the show with, ‘why do you still try?’ This was rather patronising for Seema who hasn’t given up hope in finding love.
It might be scary to face the dating world, especially if you have been alone for a long time and you might have heard horror stories from younger single friends, or children. However, it could lead to some of the best experiences of your life, and you never know, your second chance could be just around the corner. So, get your hair done, buy a new outfit and go on that date with the silver fox, who has been asking you out for a coffee for ages. We all need to be more like Seema – bold, sexy, and unapologetic and go after what we want.
It’s time for you to be happy and find love again. I will leave you with a quote from Rupi Kaur – ‘Never feel guilty for starting again.
Migrants in a dinghy crossing the English Channel
Sunder Katwala
