Starting over

WHEN I really think about it, my story is a crazy one. I met my husband when I was going through a really difficult divorce.

I remember thinking I will never find someone who will appreciate me for who I am or the job I do.  I am proud to be the only Sikh working in my police forensic department. It’s not a challenge being a woman of colour working there, it’s an achievement as I have worked hard to get there.

I am proud that I removed myself from a toxic situation and filed for divorce. I walked away, knowing divorce did not define me. I refused to look at it as a negative because it really taught me so much about myself and mainly my self-worth. It enabled me to finally find the true meaning of love.

I met Chamandeep on April 20, 2015, at a Sikh Association event the Home Office was doing. I was there representing the police and he was there on behalf of the army. I remember looking across the room and him catching my eye, stuffing his face with a samosa. He loves food and that was apparent from my first sighting of him. So, he was real from the start.

Apart from his love of samosas, he showed me true love is out there. I found love when I didn’t think it was possible. I was just a lost soul and very broken. But I worked on myself first and realised everything I did was for myself. It’s so important to invest in that self-love. My last marriage left me feeling worthless in every aspect, so I had to start the rebuild and that was my first step.

I unexpectedly met Chaman at a time when I thought I’d never trust anyone again or for that matter marry again, but honestly, I am the happiest I’ve ever been. We became best friends first and pushed each other in our careers. We built our relationship on trust, loyalty and love, which was something I had not experienced fully or had in a relationship.

Our marriage is like two best friends enjoying a beautiful journey. My husband is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and he has really pushed me in so many ways, where I feel myself and at peace. But we also are a team. We are understanding when it comes to careers. We can’t be together 24/7, but it works. It makes us appreciate our time and the art of living in the present. There is nothing like it.

It’s like two jagged edged puzzle pieces trying to click into place. Sometimes it looks like you do not fit together at all, as myself and my husband are the total opposite of each other, but it really does work and the pieces fit perfectly. When the right person comes along you will find a middle ground, complement one other, and teach each other things along the way. I promise it’s worth it. I have beautiful new parts that have grown within me and parts of me I am yet to meet.