No woman wants to see unsolicited vulgar pictures sent to them by men, most of whom they don’t know at all
By Priya MuljiMay 12, 2023
I recently saw a documentary by Emily Atack, titled Asking for It, which dealt with the issue of women who receive unwanted photos. The actress and comedian discussed how she, on a daily basis, received explicit messages and pictures, but this X-rated phenomenon is not just limited to celebrities.
They are generally explicit images sent by men to women of themselves with no clothes on or extreme close-ups of their private parts. In the documentary, it stated that girls as young as 12 received images like these from older men online and that was the most shocking aspect of it.
The timely documentary discussed how when women post pictures of themselves on a night out where their legs or cleavage might show, some men think they are somehow asking for it and assume it is okay to send pictures of themselves with no clothes on, often with inappropriate messages. Some have the audacity to ask for explicit pictures in return. When they don’t get a response, these men get angry and start trolling women.
Having come across it many times, it is obvious this abhorrent online issue is not limited to one particular culture, with many Asian women receiving such pictures. Just thinking about this makes my skin crawl. Me, along with many friends, have received such pics online and via dating apps. Some, even on WhatsApp after a man gets their number. And it’s not only singletons, but married women receive them too.
News flash – no woman wants to see these pictures. It is unlikely that any woman has ever asked a stranger to send such a vulgar picture. It is different if you are in a committed relationship and comfortable sharing such imagery, with consent. But thinking it is okay to do this to strangers or those you barely know, is just wrong.
Another issue that falls under this category is revenge porn. Where two people, in a consenting relationship, share explicit images or videos, but after a break-up one puts them online or shares them with phone contacts. It’s a sad situation that can only lead to hurt, humiliation and upset. Thankfully, there are strict ‘revenge porn’ laws in place to prosecute offenders. These laws now need to extend to harassing women with unwanted photos.
Men, if you ever are considering sending any explicit images, stop and pause for a moment. Think about what it says about you as an individual doing this and how would you feel if someone sent it to your female relative. You can be better than that and there are far more effective ways to woo a woman than sending naked photos, which make you look like a sex offender. Life is full of bad people, and you don’t need to be one of them
Chef Asma Khan calls for an end to macho kitchens and celebrates older women in professional cooking.
Advocates unionising hospitality and improving working conditions across the industry.
Explains founding the Second Daughters Foundation to support girls’ education in India.
Discusses the political role of food in promoting labour rights and dignity.
Redefining kitchens and leadership
In the latest episode of Shami’s Speakeasy, chef and campaigner Asma Khan joined host Shami Chakrabarti to discuss justice, feminism, race and the politics of food. Chakrabarti described Khan as “not so much a celebrity chef as a revolutionary chef.”
Khan highlighted her all-women team at Darjeeling Express, many of whom are grandmothers, calling it “a powerhouse.” Rejecting the macho culture of celebrity kitchens, she said the average age of women cooking in her kitchen is 50, demonstrating that older women are central to professional cooking.
Unionising hospitality and work-life challenges
Khan spoke candidly about labour conditions in hospitality and the impossibility of perfect work-life balance for shift workers and entrepreneurs. She called for restaurant workers to unionise, reflecting on exploitation during COVID and ongoing staffing pressures: “Without collective action, we can never get anywhere.”
She also shared her approach to parenting and entrepreneurship: “There is no word called ‘balance’ for some of us. The only way out is to forgive yourself and keep going.”
Second Daughters and food as a force for change
As a second daughter, Khan founded the Second Daughters Foundation, supporting girls’ education in India through school meals and practical assistance for those most likely to be kept at home.
Khan also described food as a political tool, using it to “shake the world gently” while emphasising labour, dignity and respect alongside ingredients.
Episode details
Shami’s Speakeasy: Asma Khan is available on all major podcast platforms from 15 October 2025. Additional resources and artwork inspired by the discussion will be shared in the Speakeasy Zine on the show’s website and to subscribers.
Asma Khan is the founder of Darjeeling Express, London, and an advocate for dignity in hospitality and women’s rights. Shami Chakrabarti is a human rights lawyer, legislator, and broadcaster who hosts Shami’s Speakeasy as a forum for honest conversations on values, ethics and social change.
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