ORGANISERS TAKE EVENT ONLINE AMID ONGOING VIRUS LOCKDOWN RESTRICTIONS
LIKE most global events, this year’s Jaipur Literary Fest (JLF) was cancelled due to the pandemic. But to ensure some cerebral stimulation in these mind-numbing days, organisers took the festival online with their ‘Brave New World’ series.
Although the virtual event did lack the buzz of Jaipur, thousands logged on to catch up with top international writers, academics and artists through live video streaming sessions. As JLF co-director William Dalrymple said, that was “Jaipur in exile”.
These are some vignettes from a few riveting sessions relevant to the times.
Tharoor on India’s influential voice
WRITER and Congress MP Shashi Tharoor has said the biggest revelation of the pandemic was the “ailments” in global governance system.
In a dialogue with Syam Saran from the Observer Research Foundation, Tharoor said the global response to coronavirus showed the “waning legitimacy of international institutions”.
A prime example, he pointed out, was the US slamming the WHO [World Health Organization] for adhering to the “Chinese line” when it came to Covid-19, even as Washington itself was guilty of often “dictating terms” to global bodies.
Tharoor said the global governance system has been plagued by “politicisation, manipulation, lack of representation and lack of independence”.
Moreover, he added, the “extraordinary” rise of “nationalism and national sovereignty” had led to a world “less willing to cooperate, less able to do so as they were all putting up their own barriers”.
Tharoor believed that had global institutions been more effective and had there been more international cooperation, the “world would have identified the coronavirus as soon as it emerged, and the institutions would have sounded a global alarm earlier”.
“This didn’t happen… this is a disorderly world,” he said, referring to a new book he has co-authored with Saran, The New World Disorder and the Indian Imperative.
Tharoor, who was a former UN under-secretary, rued that the international body is “massively out of date in all sorts of ways”.
He noted that the UN “still reflects geopolitical realities of 1945 rather than of 2020”, with power vested in the clutches of a few countries.
The “inability to change” had weakened the UN, he said, adding that he hoped to see world leaders “sit down collectively to learn lessons” from the pandemic. They should come to an agreement that “somethings we got messed up and somethings we can do better”, he said.
It was “high time” for collective efforts to have international bodies “strengthened and reformed”, explained Tharoor, noting that India has emerged as an “influential voice” that could “play a much bigger role on the world stage”.
Talking about India, the Congress MP, who claims to be a “habitual critic” of Narendra Modi, surprised the audience as he showered some praise on the country’s prime minister. “I have to take my hat off… he has constantly motivated people,” he said.
Mukherjee: Coping with a new normal
IN AN engaging session with Oxford historian Peter Frankopan, Pulitzer-prize-winning Indian-American oncologist Siddhartha Mukherjee captured today’s world in two words – “extraordinarily surreal”.
Speaking from his study in New York, where the coronavirus toll is among the highest in the US, he started the dialogue by describing the grim view from his window: “The streets are empty, the wind is blowing… the only sound is of ambulances rushing up and down.”
Mukherjee, known for his masterpiece The Emperor of All Maladies, said the way the outbreak flared out of control indicated “several failings” at various levels.
“It’s a reminder that we have created a global world that worried about bio-terrorism, but didn’t worry about biology itself,” he added. “And in doing so, we put ourselves up for the kind of peril which was not avoidable, but was much, much containable than the one we have.”
The US, Mukherjee pointed out, was late by at least one month to respond to the situation, as the first case in the country was registered in mid-January, when a person who had returned from Wuhan in China underwent tests for a dry cough in Washington.
The country was “desperately unprepared” for the outbreak, he added.
One of the biggest challenges facing the world was “dealing with a virus that has an extraordinary exponential capacity to grow. Two becomes four… four becomes 16… and so on”.
He also highlighted the virus’ “asymptomatic character”, wherein a person could have the virus and transmit it, but show no symptoms.
Mukherjee said the coronavirus battle involved several phases. The first was the current phase of social distancing, isolation, quarantine and supportive care.
Next came the use of “repurposed drugs”, or re-introducing medicines used to fight earlier epidemics, he said, citing the trials using remidisivir that had been effective in treating Ebola.
The third phase, he said, would see the use of man-made antibodies. That is, using antibodies from Covid-19 patients who have recovered to treat those still suffering from the infection.
Mukherjee added that he was in talks with the Gates Foundation to explore antibodies possibilities in India, along with entrepreneur Kiran Mazumdar Shaw’s Biocon.
Antibodies, however, would serve as only as “a big Band Aid”, he noted. “Vaccines are the answer,” he said. “But they could take 12-18 months to develop.”
Vaccine testing would also take a long time, as one had to be “really sure” about not giving the disease to a healthy person.
Mukherjee concluded that humanity would have to cope with a “new normal”, as it could not “walk out of this crisis without a medical solution”.
Gradually, he added, “people will go out in fear” with protective gear such as gloves and masks even if effective treatment was available. “The disease is awful enough that you don’t want to contract it,” he said.
Iyer’s art of stillness
SITTING in his “tiny, two-room rented apartment” in Japan, Pico Iyer said, “All of us are going nowhere… and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”
In a discussion with publisher Meru Gokhale, the British-Indian writer, who has been living in the city of Nara with his wife Hiroko Takeuchi since 1992, quoted Shakespeare as he reflected on the current times: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Iyer, who was “in a bit of a cocoon”, said he was soaking in life, enjoying the view of cherry blossoms and listening to nightingales teaching young ones to sing, from his window.
Iyer offered a word of advice for the busy world: “Now is the chance to reboot.”
Aptly named “The Art of Stillness” (adapted from the title of one his more popular books), the session underlined the beauty and essentiality of solitude, silence and stillness.
All his globe-trotting experiences wouldn’t have meant anything had it not been punctuated with stillness, he revealed.
“Travel, to me, is like going to a market and gathering lots of ingredients… but stillness is where I turn them into a meal.”
Iyer added that he found it “very hard to be moved” while “running around”.
“Travel is not a necessity,” he said, “but sitting still and making sense of life is a necessity. If we work with stillness the right way, I think, it opens doors to what you have forgotten about.”
Also, exploration or adventure need not involve long journeys, he noted as he described discovering recently a picturesque bamboo valley just five minutes away from the street where he has been living for nearly three decades.
Having “interested eyes” was paramount, he said. The fact that “we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow” should remind one to absorb maximum “beauty, joy and wonder right now”.
A major turning point in his life, the writer revealed, was meeting “a ragged man in a tattered gown” wearing wired glasses at a Zen Buddhist monastery in Los Angeles.
It was Canadian singer and songwriter Leonard Cohen, who had seen the peak of the “sex, drugs and rock’n’roll” days, but found “the greatest fulfilment” in “scrubbing the floors of the monastery” and “cooking for his fellow monks”.
That meeting eventually led Iyer to leave his high-flying life in New York and seek solace in Nara’s serenity.
Iyer viewed the pandemic crisis “just as a hiatus… a temporary cloud covering the world”. And, he added, it was an ideal time for one to choose whether “you want to be racing around or have a richer life being quiet” in the long run.
“Take care of the mind, and take care of the world,” he said.
“We have less power over the external world than we imagine, and more power over the internal world than we suspect. This is the time to make most of the second part.”
Redefining life with Alain de Botton
“WE ARE allowed to lose our heads,” said Alain de Botton, as he waxed eloquent on the frailties of human life in a session titled “Life Under Lockdown”.
“A wise life allows for unwisdom,” the London-based Swiss British philosopher told the Mint Lounge editor Anindita Ghose in Mumbai.
He explained it was perfectly okay to not feel okay during times like these. The pandemic should act as a reminder that “to be human is to be very alive to danger and suffering”. And it would serve humanity well to remember that “we will all be humbled by the forces of death in the end”.
“The more, in a strange way, we are able to see suffering as written into the contract of existence, we may be able to find reserves of patience and tolerance within ourselves,” said the founder of School of Life in London.
The “silver lining”, Botton added, was that such realisations could be the “route to charity, both towards ourselves and others… and fellow feeling”.
From his experience at the helm of School of Life, Botton said the primary cause of the current generation’s discontent could broadly be termed as “modernity”.
“Problems of existing in a world where technology, science, the situation around religion, around politics, around economics have conspired to create a whole range of social and psychological pressures that otherwise previous ages didn’t necessarily know,” he said.
“Life,” Botton insisted, “is a crisis – even outside this [coronavirus] crisis.” The “trick of life” was not about being happy or unhappy but “to make whatever mood you are in work for you”.
He believed a major cause of disappointment for “modern society” was viewing every situation that was out of control as “an offence, a humiliation”.
The ongoing crisis, he underlined, was a grim reminder that “humans are not in control”. Instead of taking it as “an insult”, one should “see it as a lesson, a kind of wisdom”.
According to Botton, the night sky was a wonderful teacher of humility. “Every night, just look at the stars and you are being given a gentle and dignified reminder of your own tininess and insignificance in the larger mysterious realm.”.
Feeling insignificant, he added, was “far from being a depressing thing”, as it could “relieve the ego from the pressure… to assert itself to try and establish its dominance”.
“To feel small and powerless is, oddly, not just a humiliation, it can be a route to peace.”
A NEW dance-theatre production explores how women enforce patriarchal rules upon their daughters and the consequent impact on family and societal structures, its artistic director said.
Choreographer Amina Khayyam uses Kathak, the classical Indian dance in her new production – Bibi Rukiya’s Reckless Daughter – to raise awareness about gender prejudice in ethnic communities.
In an interview with Eastern Eye, Khayyam also stressed the importance of mutual support among women during challenging situations.
Loosely based on Federico García Lorca’s The House of Bernarda Alba, the 70-minute show is set in modern, inner-city migrant communities.
The story centres on widow Bibi Rukiya, who restricts her three daughters’ freedom to maintain family honour and secure marriages. One daughter challenges her mother’s authority and questions her role as a woman.
Khayyam said, “I have a fondness for Lorca and the subjects he covers, particularly because they still resonate in our communities and culture. I work with women’s groups across the UK, particularly those who have difficult backgrounds like domestic violence or mental health issues, and I find those stories from Lorca really resonate with these communities,”
Bibi Rukiya was created over 18 months through workshops with women’s community groups across Britain. Participants collaborated with professional artists from the Amina Khayyam Dance Company to explore mother-daughter relationships.
Khayyam said these shaped the content and ensured the production reflects genuine experiences.
“I take the subject to them and then explore it through movement and storytelling, hearing their perspectives. When these women come back to see the performance, they see themselves and can relate to the stories,” the artist said.
Workshops were conducted in London, Luton and Birmingham for the production and more than 250 women took part.
Khayyam said, “Our show examines how women impose patriarchal rules on their daughters and the consequences thereof. We investigate why women perpetuate these structures and whom they serve by doing so, facilitating self-discovery, rather than providing answers.
“Centuries of conditioning have established clear, hierarchical gender roles in our society. Women who’ve experienced lifelong suffering often expect their daughters and daughters-in-law to endure similar hardships, following the principle, ‘I suffered, so you suffer now’, rather than breaking this cycle.
“We express these revelations through dance, movement and storytelling, bringing professional dancers and female musicians to the stage. Participants are encouraged to articulate their experiences in their native languages – Punjabi, Gujarati, Bengali, Hindi and English – which we then develop into poetry or narrative.”
She added, “We teach Kathak basics and mudras, providing theatrical elements that combine movement and text. While some participants initially resist dancing due to cultural taboos, most ultimately embrace it upon discovering its emotional benefits. We maintain women-only environments to ensure participants feel safe to express themselves freely.”
Khayyam, who is British Bangladeshi, began her Kathak dance training with Alpana Sengupta and progressed to professional level with Sushmita Ghosh at The Bhavan in London.
She then made her professional debut at the Southbank Centre.
Describing the use of Kathak to express complex emotions in the show, she said, “Kathak comes from katha, which means storyteller. We explore many different emotions within our form, and as we are storytellers, it lends itself to tell those stories. “In Kathak, we have many different tools – like spins with rhythmic footwork – as well as storytelling mudras, head gestures; all of this can come into play when we’re creating stories.”
Khayyam said the show uses music, movement and footwork to depict complex themes.
“In one scene there’s a conflict between the mother and the three daughters. We’re adapting it to three daughters as opposed to the five daughters originally in the book. There’s something called sawal jawab – question and answer.
“Through the footwork, the daughters are having a huge head-to-head with each other, and one of the best ways to bring that positively and impactfully is through sawal jawab – asking questions and giving answers – only through footwork.”
Set up in 2013 and based in Slough, the Amina Khayyam Dance Company has 15 pieces of work to its credit, with 160 shows in 40 venues in the UK and abroad.
Khayyam said her hope was for audiences to “go away and think about what they just saw”.
She added, “Sometimes we’re quite blinkered; we just carry on with life without questioning things, and I would like people to be able to question.
“Second, I’d like those south Asian women, both those we’ve worked with and those we haven’t, to be able to stop and think, ‘This is something we have in our community. How do we deal with this? How do we change it? How do we evolve this situation and empower these women who are trapped in it?’ With every show we’ve done in the past, we like to leave a question with the audience.
“It’s also about awareness. Sometimes we walk down the street and there’s a huge tree, but we never notice it – we take it for granted. Then suddenly we look up and think, “Wow, this tree is amazing.” We want to bring this kind of awareness into their lives, to recognise what’s happening and how we can help each other.
“In the workshops with women, I stressed that they need to support each other, because often that support isn’t there. We’re judging a lot, gossiping, and we need to support each other when we see difficult situations. That’s what I would like the show to bring about.”
Bibi Rukiya’sReckless Daughter will have its premiere at the Birmingham Hippodrome next Thursday (22) and Friday (23), followed by a national tour starting in autumn 2025
Susan Stronge was understandably a little emotional as she spoke to Eastern Eye last Monday (5), the final day of the exhibition on The Great Mughals: Art, Architecture and Opulence, the exhibition she curated at the Victoria and Albert Museum.
The exhibition opened on 9 November 2024 to celebrate “the extraordinary creative output and internationalist culture of the golden age of the Mughal court (about 1560–1660), during the reigns of its most famous emperors: Akbar, Jahangir and Shah Jahan.”
There was a large crowd on the last day to catch one more glimpse of the jewellery, paintings, armour, textiles, carpets and other works of art before they were taken down to make way for the next exhibition, Marie Antoinette Style: Shaped by the most fashionable queen in history, in September.
By any reckoning, The Great Mughals has been a huge success. On the final day, Stronge wandered through the gallery, listening to visitors’ chatter – few of them aware she was the curator who had selected the objects now holding them spellbound.
A gem-set dagger, pendant and flask
“I’ll miss it when it goes,” she admitted. “But I’m very, very pleased it’s been so successful and people have obviously enjoyed it. I quite liked eavesdropping on people who are talking to each other about the objects. I heard a couple who were looking at the jewelled jade pendant that arguably could have been made for Jahangir. The chap looked at it and said it was worth coming just to see that one piece. I thought that was fantastic.
“I am struck by the number of people who tell me they have been two, three, four, five, even 10 times. I have a Pakistani friend from Lahore, who is now in London, and he was coming every Friday and he was in week six.”
The Great Mughals was Stronge’s swansong after 49 years at the V&A. She formally retired in February as senior curator in the Asian department, where she had mentored many over the decades. Another of her exhibitions that she feels has left “a significant legacy” was The Art of the Sikh Kingdoms in 1999.
She said: “I have got a three-year position in the museum as an honorary senior research fellow in the research department of the V&A Research Institute.”
Although she is now recognised as a leading scholar in Sikh and Mughal art, she feels she came into the field almost by accident.
“A happy accident,” she acknowledged.
A model of the cenotaph of Mumtaz Mahal
She is a Yorkshire girl who grew up in Ripon in a family where visiting museums wasn’t the done thing. She initially did voluntary work in Norwich, at the Castle Museum and in Strangers’ Hall, a Grade I listed building. She didn’t know it then, but her life was set to change when she applied for, and got, a job as an assistant at the V&A in 1976.
“I was told at the interview I’d be in ceramics, metalwork or the press office,” she recalled. “When I turned up for work, the first day, they said, ‘Oh, you are in (what was then) the Indian section.’ This was a surprise, but also disconcerting, because I knew nothing about India, its history and culture. The keeper of the department was John Irwin, who was a very distinguished textile historian.
“I did an MA at SOAS in South Asia studies and was taught by John Burton-Page, who was a fantastic teacher of Mughal architecture and art. It snowballed from there as I got more and more interested. We did interesting exhibitions (at the V&A) under Robert Skelton’s leadership. We did Arts of Bengal in 1979. No two years were the same. We were given so many opportunities.”
Her interest in Mughal art “evolved over many years. I’ve been teaching a lot on South Asian art courses”.
She found the Western way of defining fine or decorative art “did not apply at all to Mughal or other Eastern arts. So, I started thinking about how to present it.
“I did a book many years ago (2010) called Made for Mughal Emperors: Royal Treasures from Hindustan which was published by Roli in India. I did it by theme, and took things like the institution of the royal household, the imperial treasury. It was much more rooted in telling the cultural story of the history and atmosphere of the court.”
She likes the word “Hindustan”, because the art of pre-Partition India takes in present-day India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, and Myanmar. It was also what the Mughals called their own territories.
Coming to the present, she said that when the V&A’s current director, Tristram Hunt, “said he would like a South Asian exhibition, I suggested The Great Mughals, and it was added to the schedule – though plans were later disrupted by the pandemic.”
And, a floorspread
She began by considering the objects she could pick, and is grateful for the loans from the Al-Sabah collection in Kuwait. She said the late Sheikh Nasser “had an absolute passion for Mughal art”, and his wife, Sheikha Hussa, had been “incredibly generous”.
Stronge offered an insight into her approach to curating the exhibition: “I wanted to show the very great art produced over 100 years under Akbar, Jahangir and Shah Jahan. I also wanted to explain something of the history and the cultural context, and also show how hybrid the culture was. That is reflected in the hybridity of the art.
“In the West you tend to see Hindu and Muslim in completely separate categories. That’s not the reality. People share in each other’s religious festivals. That’s why in the studies of art history, ‘Islamic art’ is an almost meaningless term.
“Art historians (in the West) can’t quite place the Mughal empire, because it is not purely Islamic. The rulers are Muslim, but the majority of the population was Hindu. Akbar had Hindu wives and Jahangir had a Hindu mother. It’s not something that fits into Western categorisation. It’s much more hybrid. That’s something I wanted to get across – and how remarkable the artists were. Most of us, certainly me, had never heard of them before I joined the V&A. People like Ustad Mansur, Abu’l-Hasan, and the Iranian master Sa’ida Gilani, a goldsmith who crafted jade artefacts. What is so frustrating is how little we know about their lives or backgrounds.
“The thing that surprises many people is the primacy of the Persian language in the Mughal courts. It was the cultural language of the court, whether you were Hindu or Muslim. One of the leading poets under Jahangir was a Brahmin writing in Persian. I wanted to show the internationalism of the court, the importance of the Persian language and the beauty of the objects. Then there are things, like enamelling, which is a difficult craft. It comes from a foreign technique but becomes completely Mughal and sensational.”
Some of the craft techniques had survived, passed down from one generation to the next.
“There’s this wonderful continuity,” she commented.
She said the Aga Khan Trust for Culture, for example, was trying to revive “the craft of inlaying wood with mother of pearl. They wanted to copy a canopy that had been made in Gujarat and moved to a shrine in Nizamuddin in Delhi. They wanted to put it in their new museum. And, in doing so, they revived a craft that had been completely lost.
“They had to reinvent it almost by trial and error, and they’ve done it to perfection. We showed a short film about the technique in the exhibition.”
Perhaps most important of all, what her exhibition shows is that the Mughals were and remain an integral part of India, its history and its culture.
“If you remove them (from India’s history), you’re removing some of the greatest monuments in the world from the narrative, aren’t you?” she pointed out.
“How do you explain the Taj Mahal, the forts in Delhi and Agra, the endless tombs and monuments? If you don’t know the historical context, you’re losing a lot. It’s something to be proud of.
“If you’ve got a country with a Taj Mahal, it’s something to celebrate.”
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Deepa Paul explores non-monogamy, commitment and romance in her new book
It began as a 1,200-words essay, sort of a frequently asked questions (FAQ) explainer of being in an open marriage, before culminating in a bidding war involving multiple major publishing houses.
Her new book 'Ask Me How It Works'Instagram/ storiesbydeepa
Deepa Paul’s Ask Me How It Works does what it says on the tin. It’s her story of being in a committed marriage with her husband of 17 years, while the couple also date other people, with each other’s knowledge.
However, seven or eight years ago, no one was interested in publishing it, said Paul. When a writing coach suggested it was more than an essay, she wrote the draft and that led to a publishing deal.
“It’s basically almost unchanged from where I began. There was no grand vision. It was – what have I experienced, what have I learned from it, and what can I share?” Paul said.
She recalled a writing habit “to process my own experiences and to understand what’s going on in my life”.
Paul added, “Initially I started writing mainly for myself. There was a point at which I was receiving so many questions from men who I was open with on dating apps, and I remember thinking as a joke, almost like, ‘What if I could just send them something that would make my life easier.’”
“In the beginning it was called Ask Me How It Works:frequently asked questions about my open marriage. And this essay just got longer and longer.”
Paul, a half-Indian, half-Filipina writer, lives with her husband, Marcus, in Amsterdam, having moved there from Manila, where they both grew up. The couple have a young daughter, and Paul also has a boyfriend of five years in the city.
She was polyamorous at the time of writing the book, but said she is currently not dating anyone else.
Each chapter in her book dwells on the many questions raised by Paul’s curious dates – from how it started to the rules the couple follow, feelings, love and therapy.
“It’s always been about self discovery,” Paul said. “My preferred method of growth is to put myself in new situations and see how I adapt.
“It sounds very chaotic and maybe stressful for a lot of people, but I value adaptability and flexibility and being able to find out about myself through the mirror of relationships.
“I believe that an encounter with somebody – whether it’s for one night or for months or years or a lifetime – can mirror back to you things about yourself that you’ve never saw before.”
Paul was raised in the Philippines (the country is predominantly Catholic and divorce is banned), but when she moved to the Netherlands, realised there were opportunities to explore relationships outside her marriage. Over the course of more than a dozen chapters, she charts her journey as she and her husband seek encounters outside their marriage. Both are certain, however, that they want to be in the marriage and are committed to raising a family together.
Paul explained how her idea of marriage has transformed over time.
“What I learned from my parents, seeing their picture of love and commitment, was that we would build a life together, that we had shared goals and we would achieve them together,” she said.
“A family was definitely part of it. It felt like a big adventure we could go on together. Me moving to Singapore to be with him, (it) felt like I was giving a lot, but it also felt adventurous. Then moving to Amsterdam was another adventure. I saw marriage as a series of adventures for which I had found a partner.
“Now, I would say that’s changed in the sense that there’s much less ‘adventuring’. It’s more realistic that we are building a life together. We have shared goals, and those evolve over time.
“But now I believe our commitment is much more fluid and flexible, because it accommodates the versions of ourselves we can become as life changes. Motherhood was a big change, migration was a massive change, cancer was a huge change (Paul was diagnosed last year, underwent treatment and is now cancer-free).
“So, now we get to check in with each other and say, ‘okay, what does commitment look like for us, for the people we are now? It’s a lot more familiar, but it’s also flexible.”
Life in Amsterdam could not be more in contrast to Manila. In fact, in one of the final chapters, Paul explains what the book is about to her pre-teen daughter and waits tentatively for her response.
Her reaction? Paul and Marcus are not the only ones in their daughter’s class to have an open marriage.
“Welcome to Amsterdam!” she writes. “If I stayed in Manila, I don’t think I would have ever realised that non-monogamy is an option. I came to Amsterdam and I was almost shocked at how accepted it is – that it is an option available for us as a relationship style.”
Paul explores the many facets of relationships – established, committed or casual – as she and Marcus ‘open up’ their marriage. Having dating rules, establishing boundaries, testing them, adapting, building trust, maintaining faith in each other, therapy, co-parenting, pursuing careers and Covid lockdowns – Ask Me How It Works answers all the questions readers could possibly be curious about.
She said the effort was worth it. “I find working on relationships fulfilling. I think I’m a relationship nerd. I love talking about attachment styles and I believe the greatest fulfilment I derive from life is from relationships. It’s not from possessions or experiences. I love figuring out relationships – how somebody wants to be loved, what makes them feel special, feel safe.
“And then, when I realised I can also give that to them, I found myself expanding. I thought, ‘Oh, I didn’t think I could love this way, I didn’t think I could care for someone in this specific manner.’ And, somehow, I managed to keep track of all of them.”
Paul added, “I’m also very into the idea of experiencing pleasure in different ways, and I learned so much about my desires, but also my body. I have a really good relationship with my body – through the mirror of other people, and I do love that I have an identity.
“I’m encouraged and allowed to build an identity for myself that doesn’t revolve around being a wife and a mother. I can be 100 per cent a good wife and mother, but also be 100 per cent myself.
“And it’s not a trade-off. So, for me, that’s worth the extra effort, of what people think is so tiring.”
Although Paul is not dating anyone else apart from her boyfriend, she has seen a shift in the approach to monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, saying that while the latter are more accepted now, it’s not yet mainstream.
She has also observed how women in some conservative societies feel about desire. “In terms of attraction and desire, we’re taught that it’s a very destructive force, but it is also a force of great power – it can make people look and feel and come alive and be really present in their senses,” Paul said.
“I take a lot of inspiration, for example, from Audre Lorde’s essay The uses of erotic where she says, ‘once you’ve tapped into something that really gives you joy and aliveness, it’s like you can’t turn it off.’ It feeds so much into our lives and women are sort of stopped from doing that.”
She added, “But then, when we are at our most fully expressed and alive and just enjoying the deliciousness of life, who immediately benefits? Family and society, as well.”
Paul revealed she considered writing the book under a pseudonym.
However, she said, “If I cannot stand by my choices, my ups and my downs and my mistakes, and I can’t put my name and my face on it, then shame still has power over me.
“For me, it’s a powerful exercise to say, ‘Yeah, I did all of this and I made these mistakes, I cleaned them up, and I somehow turned them into a life that I love, with all the people I love along with me for the ride.
“If I had kept hiding that, I would not really have been freed,” she said.
“Regardless of whether you are monogamous or non-monogamous, people are messy.
“Life is unpredictable, emotions are messy. So we just do the best we can with the tools we have.”
Ask Me How It Works: Love in an Open Marriage by Deepa Paul, published by Viking, is out now
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Young participants have also been involved in backstage roles
The National Theatre’s annual Connections Festival will return this June, celebrating its 30th anniversary with a week-long programme of youth theatre performances from across the UK.
Running from 24 to 28 June, the festival will also mark the reopening of the Dorfman Theatre, which has been closed since November 2024 for government-funded refurbishment works.
Over the past three months, more than 5,000 young people from over 270 schools and youth theatre groups have performed in venues across 33 professional stages nationwide. From this wide participation, ten theatre groups have been selected to perform at the National Theatre in London.
Each group will stage one of ten newly commissioned plays, offering young performers the opportunity to explore contemporary themes including identity, climate change, and community.
The selected groups and their plays are:
Fresh Air by Vickie Donoghue – Central Foundation Boys’ School, London
Ravers by Rikki Beadle-Blair – HOME Young Company, Manchester
Mia and the Fish by Satinder Chohan – Abbey Grange Academy, Leeds
The Company of Trees by Jane Bodie – Hamilton District Youth Theatre, Lanarkshire
Their Name is Joy by May Sumbwanyambe – Nottingham Girls Academy Theatre Company
Saba’s Swim by Danusia Samal – Central Youth Theatre, Wolverhampton
Normalised by Amanda Verlaque – Brassneck Youth, Belfast
No Regrets by Gary McNair – Glasgow Acting Academy
Brain Play by Chloë Lawrence-Taylor and Paul Sirett – Chatham and Clarendon Grammar School, Ramsgate
YOU 2.0 by Alys Metcalf – Everyman Youth Theatre, Cardiff
Young participants have also been involved in backstage roles, including lighting, costume design, directing and composing, helping to realise their productions from start to finish.
Indhu Rubasingham, Director and Co-Chief Executive of the National Theatre, said: “I am really pleased to welcome ten youth groups from all corners of the UK to the NT for this landmark anniversary festival of Connections. Everyone should have the opportunity to experience the power of theatre-making.”
Since launching, the festival has engaged over 125,000 young people, with former participants including actors Keira Knightley, David Oyelowo, Rose Ayling-Ellis, and Callum Scott Howells.
Each year, ten new plays are commissioned for Connections, contributing to a growing archive of over 235 scripts written specifically for young performers.
Tickets are available for £5 per show, or £8 for two performances in one evening. All shows will feature captioning for accessibility.
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Crossed creative horizons and collaborated with global talent
Whether it is her cool songs like Checka, Piya Piya Calling and Siste Dans, cutting-edgeEP Running Deep, or acclaimed 2024 debut album Shahrazad, Delara has consistently crossed creative horizons and collaborated with global talent.
The award-winning Norwegian singer has lit up the live scene, clocked millions of streams, and connected with diverse cultures through her eclectic music. The fabulously forward-thinking talent has added to her impressive achievements with the newly released Kalash Reimagined, a bold collaboration with Indian singer Charan, Pakistani producer Talal Qureshi and Jamaican-American rapper BEAM.
Eastern Eye caught up with Delara to discuss her music, inspirations, future hopes and unique new single.
Her new track, Kalash ReimaginedInstagram/ amandadelara
What first connected you to music?
I think music was always part of my life before I even knew what it meant to me. I grew up in a household where my parents would talk about life and politics around the dinner table. That energy of emotion, reflection and curiosity somehow found its way into the songs I started writing. Music became my space for understanding myself and the world around me.
How do you reflect on your music journey so far?
I’m proud of how much I’ve dared to evolve. From the start, I didn’t take the easiest route. I sang about politics and personal struggles when people told me not to. But I’ve always trusted that staying true to myself would lead me to where I’m meant to go. That has shaped me into the artist I am today – a mix of experimentation, boldness and vulnerability.
Which of your songs is closest to your heart?
That’s a hard one, but Unbound will always be very close to me. I wrote it during a time when I was thinking a lot about the impermanence of life, and how nothing and no one lasts forever. The relationship I have with my mother, who means everything to me, inspired much of that song. Having her in the music video made it even more emotional and personal.
How much did the acclaim your debut album received mean to you?
Of course, I’m grateful for the recognition, but I try not to get too caught up in critical acclaim. What means the most to me is the feedback I get from listeners – people who send me messages or come up to me after shows saying a song helped them through something. That’s what gives me confidence and keeps me creating.
Tell us about Kalash Reimagined.
Kalash Reimagined takes the original track to new heights by merging powerful voices and sounds from different parts of the world. After working on Piya Piya with Coke Studio last year, it felt natural to expand on this fusion of cultures. The remix blends south Asian sounds, Jamaican energy and Norwegian–Iranian influences to create something bold and deeply emotional. It is a celebration of what can grow when different worlds collide.
What was it like collaborating with Charan, Talal Qureshi and BEAM?
Collaborating with Charan, Talal and BEAM was an amazing experience. Charan brought his unique perspective and fresh energy to the track. Talal’s creativity and musical vision really helped elevate the sound, while BEAM’s raw intensity added something special. It felt like a real meeting of different worlds, with voices that had something real to say. The collaboration was a true exchange of energy and ideas, and it came together beautifully.
How would you describe this track?
It’s a powerful fusion of sounds and emotions. Kalash Reimagined is bold, raw and unapologetic – yet playful and full of energy. The track exists in the spaces between cultures, not trying to represent everything but highlighting what can grow when worlds collide. It celebrates shared experiences and the beautiful complexity that emerges from blending different backgrounds.
Who are you hoping this song connects with?
I hope this track resonates with anyone who feels caught between cultures or identities. It is for those who do not fit neatly into one box. Whether you are from south Asia, the diaspora, the Caribbean or anywhere in between, I want the song to speak to those who feel empowered by blending different worlds – and who are open to the beauty that comes from that fusion.
What can we expect next from you?
There is a lot on the horizon. I’m about to announce my biggest headliner show yet, which I’m incredibly excited about. I’m also working on new music and visual projects that will push boundaries, along with more cross-cultural collaborations like Kalash Reimagined. The goal is always to connect sounds and stories in unexpected ways. I’m exploring fresh creative paths, keeping things organic and letting ideas flow freely.
Who would you love to collaborate with? There are so many, but right now I would love to work with artists who challenge genres and tell strong stories – people like Bad Bunny, Rosalía, Frank Ocean or even Raveena. Artists who are not afraid to blend cultures and sounds.
What kind of music dominates your personal playlist?
It’s a mix of many things. But with summer approaching, there is a lot of Afro, reggaeton, salsa, r’n’b and hip hop. I’ve actually created a personal playlist that I share with my listeners.
What inspires you as an artist?
Life itself – my family, friends, conversations with strangers, travelling, latenight thoughts, missing home, or wondering what home even means. I get inspired by contradictions, and those quiet moments of reflection when I’m not even trying to create.
Why do you love music?
When I’m creating music, I feel the most free. It is a space where only your mind, creativity and ideas matter – not how you look or how others see you. Music was the first place where I felt truly seen and heard. It’s a powerful force of connection, the closest thing we have to real magic – a universal language that everyone understands. In just seconds, music can make us feel a little less alone. How can you not love that?