Winning the battle against cancer

THREE WOMEN TELL THEIR EMOTIONAL STORIES TO EASTERN EYE AND GIVE ADVICE TO OTHERS

THOSE who have successful­ly battled cancer go on deep­ly emotional journeys few will find out about.

Their stories are filled with pain, but there is also hope, inspiration and valuable life lessons for everyone. Eastern Eye’s resident ancient healing expert Mita Mistry got three cancer survivors to share their stories.

“These three extraordinary women taught me that we are all a lot stronger than we believe and there are rays of hope even in the darkest times. I hope their strength will inspire others, including those going through battles of their own and create more understanding,” said Mita.

SYLVIA IHENACHO

“MANY say that being told that you have cancer is the hardest thing you will experience. For me it was tough, but telling my family was even harder. It was awful breaking the news to my brothers, sisters and father that I too have breast cancer, just 10 years af­ter losing our mother to the disease.

“I count myself lucky as I had a very supportive husband who was with me every step of the way. My family and friends rallied around me, took turns to come to chemotherapy sessions, all appoint­ments, cooked, cleaned, ironed, or just came to keep me company.

“I had felt something was not quite right. I was always exhausted, needed more sleep and had pains in the right breast, but I didn’t want to face it. I was too scared I guess. So it wasn’t really a big shock when I finally did face up to it and they said it was cancer. I knew what my family went through when my mum had this and wanted to limit their suffering as much as I could.

“The doctors, surgeons and nurses were fantas­tic. Yes, they confirmed it was cancer, the stage and rather large size of tumour (over 6cm), but at the same time reassured me they knew what they were dealing with and how to treat it. They were confi­dent of getting it all and I could go back to normali­ty after treatment. Their reassurance gave me confi­dence to believe that everything would be okay.

“At first they didn’t think I would need chemo­therapy, but after the biopsy results they confirmed it would be advisable. I didn’t cry when they gave me my diagnosis, but did when they mentioned chemotherapy. I don’t know if it was vanity at the thought of losing my hair or fear of being so ill dur­ing treatment, as I had witnessed it with my mother, but that news hit me hard.

“I had two young children aged six and three, and wanted to keep everything as normal as possi­ble for them. Chemo meant they would notice mummy was ill, had lost her hair, looked different, vomited constantly and went to the hospital all the time. I didn’t want them to worry. I thought they were too young to understand what the illness was, so we decided not to tell them.

“I had my chemo, the surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments. I had tough times when I was just so ill, but in those days when I felt okay, I made sure I made the most of the time. I pampered my­self and put effort into looking good.

“I recall seeing a woman at the hospital waiting room looking so glam with hair and makeup done beautifully and dressed so well. She really cheered me up, knowing that you could look that good while undergoing treatment. She inspired me to put the effort into making sure that I looked good with a nice wig and good make-up. It sounds silly, but looking good made me feel good and was a nice distraction from the treatment.

“A lot of people didn’t actually know I was under­going treatment. They didn’t release I was wearing a wig. I thought I was doing well at keeping up this front with the children, but I really underestimated them. As young as they were, they knew something was wrong; the whispering, hospital appointments, mummy not being able to play with them. All this just made them worry and stress even after we told them there was nothing to worry about.

“Friends say I was amazing with the treatment. The truth is I didn’t do anything. The love and sup­port of my wonderful husband, family and friends, and the great care of a fantastic medical team, made it so much easier. If I had to relive that time again, there are a few things I would do differently.

“I think I would definitely have told my children what was happening. I would have accepted more offers of help. I definitely would have acted more quickly and not ignored the signs. Perhaps I could have avoided the aggressive treatment had I been brave enough to go to the doctor sooner.

“Hindsight is a great thing. I am lucky to still be here and able to say this despite my fear and slow action. I count myself lucky. I would tell anyone to make sure they know their body, and if they feel something is not quite right please just get it checked out. The sooner you do, the better. It may be nothing, but if it does turn out to be something the earlier it is caught the better.”

VAISHALI PATEL

“IN APRIL 2017, after some routine procedures to help with fertility issues, I was called in to see my gynaecologist. She told me they’d found cancer and I started crying. The first thing I thought was: ‘Oh my God, what is he (my husband) thinking right now and how am I going to tell my parents?’

“It sounds like a stupid thing to think, but I guess everyone deals with these things differently. She was genuinely shocked and told me that if I hadn’t come to her for fertility testing they wouldn’t have found it this early. I guess you could say I was lucky, but I didn’t feel it.

“I saw the oncologist and his team a week later and they told us that normally the treatment for en­dometrial/womb cancer is a hysterectomy. But be­cause I hadn’t had children yet and we wanted a family, they were opting for a hormone treatment to preserve my fertility while reversing the cancer.

“I took the news really well at first. I was positive and reassuring everyone around me that everything was going to be fine. I wanted to be strong for my­self and for everyone else. That lasted about two weeks. I went back to work and within three days I went off on sick leave.

“I was being strong for everyone else, but inside I was breaking apart. I didn’t want anyone to worry. Not my husband, not my friends and not my family. So I cut myself off from everyone. I stopped talking, and when I did talk to people I faked it.

“But I felt like I was being dealt an unfair hand. I felt like I had done something wrong to deserve this. The thought that I may not be able to ever have my own children was killing me inside and I had no one to talk to about it. On top of that, the treatment was taking its toll, making me tired a lot of the time and I was having trouble sleeping too.

“I went back to work at the beginning of June. It was probably the best thing for me. Though I was exhausted every day when I got home, I was busy and had no time to think about having cancer. Most people where I live didn’t know I had cancer, so it helped that no one asked me any questions.

“I did lots of research and joined Facebook groups of women in my situation, who understood what I was going through. I also called my local cancer charity and joined the waiting list for coun­selling, which I started in August.

“It helped me work through all the feelings I was ignoring and to stop beating myself up over how badly I thought I was coping. It helped me to be honest with the people around me, especially my husband, as the cancer and my way of coping really affected our marriage. I focused on my health, es­pecially eating right and exercising, and that really helped me to cope with my diagnosis.

“For me, it was really important to have a focus and something to keep busy with. I guess that is the only advice I can give. Find a focus, keep busy and don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

JASPREET SINGH

“I was diagnosed with severe displysia/carcinoma in situ on my tongue and had four surgeries. My re­cent surgeries have been in January 2017 and Janu­ary 2018.

“When my consultant informed me I had cancer, I felt numb and he had to shake me to ask if I un­derstood. I remember nodding my head. When I was told again in December 2017 that surgery was required on the right lateral side of my tongue, from tip till the end, I felt wetness on my cheeks and re­alised tears were rolling from my eyes.

“I was scared of the severe pain that I would have to go through again as I was not mentally prepared. I was reassured of having robust pain management. I was feeling low and anxious. I was worried and not my normal self. I engrossed myself in practical issues like ensuring my will was up to date, power of attorney, mortgage, funeral arrangements and pension papers were sorted.

“My mind was on the go all the time. I told my­self this is not going to help me in my recovery. So I sat down in silence and asked myself what is the re­al reason of change in my behaviour? I realised that I was less scared of pain and more worried about death. I was also frightened if I would be able to swallow anything, how surgery is going to impact on my speech, numbness in part of my tongue and the effect on my taste buds.

“Death was the real reason of my concern so I re­assured my mind, stroking the back of my hand, and repeating that I am okay and was going to be fine. I did not want my brain to be in fight and flight mode all the time.

“So I kept a close check on my thoughts and breathing. I realised that my breathing in habit was smooth, however my breathing out of habit was er­ratic. I started to take deeper breaths, which helped to calm my thinking. Bathing with lavender oil drops also helped me to relax my mind.

“I wanted to give happy vibes to my brain, so many times in a day I thought about beautiful hap­py memories of time spent with my family. It made me happy and content. I tried to ensure that my stomach got cleared every morning. I had three glasses of warm water in the morning. Acupuncture also helped to balance chakras in my body.

“Keeping my mind still and my body moving was my slogan to remind myself to keep going. I ate fresh healthy food like vegetables, broccoli, cabbage etc. My search for ideal healthy food is still on, as is my journey to recovery.

“Early diagnosis is the key for cancer survival, so if you are concerned about your health please con­sult your doctor and attend your appointment. I am extremely grateful and indebted to my consultant/ surgeon Dr Gary Walton and his team for providing the best care. The support from my daughters, fam­ily and friends also helped me to keep strong and be alive.”