Shailain Harakhchand Haria-Shah’s life was shaped by the fact that his parents were among the first Oshwals to settle in the UK.
Our father, Harakhchand, came to the UK from Kenya in 1958. My mother, Jaya, remained in Nairobi, and Shailain was born on February 10, 1959. Mother and son came to London six months later, and the family settled in Golders Green.
There are blurry black and white photos of Shailain and his younger brother Rex, playing in the garden with uncles and aunties who came to stay for extended periods as everyone found their feet in the ‘mother country’.
It isn’t possible to talk about Shailain, or Shai as he was fondly known, without mentioning Rex. There was just 18 months between the two brothers, and they were rarely apart. They knew each other’s thoughts before they had been uttered and shared a love of life, friendship and what I now know is ‘seva’.
When we were growing up, it was simply how my Dad insisted we must live our lives, always putting others before ourselves and lending a hand whenever and wherever we could.
1960s London wasn’t multicultural. But unlike in the decade that followed, Shai didn’t experience much prejudice or racism. My Mum recalls being stopped by old ladies who would admire her beautiful child with his limpid eyes and jet black hair. He was happy at school and made friends with everyone. He would always be comfortable balancing his Indian heritage and his British education and citizenship.
By the time I was born in 1967, my parents had bought a house in Finchley. It wasn’t straightforward to get a mortgage and it was a local Liberal politician who acted as a character witness for my father, an act of solidarity which was to shape Shai’s political outlook for the rest of his life. Three years ago, he was elected as the Liberal Democrat councillor for Bushey Park. He described this as his life’s dream come true.
Shai passed his 11+ which meant a move to Harrow in 1971. I’m not sure anyone actually believes me when I say my brothers and I were the only south Asian children at our respective schools, in what is now one of London’s most diverse boroughs.
Shai did well at school, and after studying Economics at the University of Kent, he dreamt of working at the London Stock Exchange. Instead, due to our Dad’s ill health, he decided to join the family business, Libra Insurance Brokers.
From the early 1990’s onwards, the bond and shared vision of the two brothers was to be instrumental in building one of the most respected Gujarati insurance brokers - Libra Insurance Services. Shailain’s approach to business was both ethical and professional.
He was well suited to an industry which required trust and discretion. His natural charm and easy manner meant he could build relationships with young and old. My parents would joke that their ‘English son’ only started to speak Gujarati once he joined the family firm. Libra Insurance was acquired by Jelf/Marsh in 2015 and Shai continued to work as an Independent Financial Advisor..
Shai’s marriage to Palvi in 1983 was a true fairy tale romance. It was a devoted partnership of two people who always put others before themselves and cared deeply about family and friends. They were blessed with two sons, Nihal and Mihir and in recent years, were able to celebrate daughters in law Khilna and Rohini joining the family and the birth of grandsons Kaiyan and Rian.
Being a grandfather brought Shai much happiness, and he loved nothing better than an afternoon of crisps, cartoons and silliness with the boys. He was also an excellent scrabble player who was part of the London Scrabble League. He had a memory for obscure words, which would ensure any opponent would receive a thrashing.
Shailain was diagnosed in the 1990s with Multiple Sclerosis. In recent years, this meant he walked with a cane. He never complained, if you asked him how he was, he would always say “Life is good”.
Shai had a very strong sense of fairness and lived his whole life with integrity and generosity. As a family, we have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love for Shai and humbled by the huge numbers who queued for hours to pay their respects at his prathna sabha. Shai epitomised all that is best in British Asian values. He was understated in life and has left a huge legacy of love and respect. The world would be a much better place if we could all be a bit more Shai.
(Ritula Shah is a former BBC presenter and the sister of Shailain Haria-Shah)
