Nadine Dorries: ‘The plot thickened’

A REPORT in the Daily Telegraph is headlined: “Dorries to point finger at Sunak in tell-all book on fall of Johnson.”

It says that Nadine Dorries – who has announced her decision to step down as the Tory MP for Mid Bedfordshire but hasn’t gone yet – “will point the finger at Rishi Sunak in a forthcoming tell-all volume on the downfall of Boris Johnson.

“The former prime minister gave Tory MPs the green light to help the former culture secretary on her book, The Plot: The Political Assassination of Boris Johnson.”

Dorries, who is on a revenge mission after being denied the peerage she was promised by Boris, is not taken very seriously by her colleagues at Westminster or by the press, where she is often called “Mad Nad”.

Having reported she was writing a tell-all book, even the Telegraph made fun of her. It had a “preview” of her book, as “imagined” by one of its journalists, Guy Kelly.

The piece, bylined “By the Rt Hon Nadine Dorries MP (somehow NOT Baroness)”, has Boris telling her at one point: “Nads, I want to reward your loyalty by doing what you’ve always wanted…”

“I couldn’t believe it. ‘Boris,’ I said, stuttering, ‘you’ve only just married again, you’re about to be a father for the somethingth time… How did you know how I felt…?’

“‘I mean give you a peerage, Nadine. Baroness Dorries of Wherever You’re From! How does that sound?’”

“Baroness Dorries. He was correct, as ever: it did sound good. Little did I know the same sinister forces who took down our greatest prime minister would also assassinate that dream. The plot, as we writers say, thickened.”

Dorries was so taken with Boris’s linguistic ability that she gushed: “Well, I don’t understand why William Shakespeare isn’t writing a book about you, rather than the other way around.”

Boris didn’t want her to fight his ouster. “‘Nads, Nads, stop – I fear this is a fait accompli,’ he muttered in his office. I loved it when he spoke Latin to me, and he knew it.”