Your voice: The secret affair with chocolate cake

By Sunita Pattani.

I’LL NEVER forget the response from the darkened cinema room that day. There was a laugh, not the open, loud, from-bottom-of-the-belly type laugh; but the gentle rippling type, consisting of a mixture of genuine humour from some, as well as an uneasy nervousness from others.

The movie was Dil Dhadakne Do and the scene was the one where Shefali Shah, a middle-

aged, upper-class housewife is seen stuffing a large amount of cake into her mouth as she

struggles with uncomfortable emotions and issues with body-image.

The audience response that day highlighted how misunderstood this topic really is. Having suffered with and recovered from chronic binge-eating disorder coupled with weight-gain and bodyshaming, I know only too well the impact that a disordered relationship with food has on us.

Binge and emotional eating are real issues, and no, they’re not the result of a lack of willpower as some believe. What I didn’t need during my darkest hour was well-meaning relatives stating the obvious and doctors recommending diet plans. Instead I needed to understand I wasn’t losing my mind and there were physiological and psychological

factors at play in the background.

I needed to understand the difference between binge and emotional eating, and that each person’s food story is unique to them and I needed to let go of people’s judgements about me.

Here are some points to ponder if you’re experiencing issues with binge or emotional eating:

• Understand that right now it’s okay to be where you are. You may not be happy with it,

  but it’s where you’re starting your journey from. Self-compassion is the place to start and mindfulness is a brilliant tool to help cultivate this.

• Understand the difference between binge and emotional eating. Binge eating is predominantly a response to either biological or psychological restriction with food. Emotional eating is eating in response to your emotions. Both need different interventions.
• Give up diets. Statistics show they don’t work in the long-term and may keep you trapped in the all-or-nothing mentality. Put your focus instead on developing healthful behaviours.
• Understand people gain weight for different reasons. Weight gain can be a complex

  mechanism with food, hormones and trauma being some of the variables. While it is

  true some people gain weight as a result of their diet, it’s also true some may have

  underlying psychological trauma that prevents them from releasing weight.

• If you feel you may be suffering from binge or emotional eating, please do get some help. Having been there and also having since worked extensively with individuals,

  I know for sure that there is hope and help available!

• Sunita Pattani is a London-based psychotherapist, researcher and trainer specialising in treating psychological trauma and binge eating disorder. Visit www.sunitapattani.com, Instagram & Twitter: @sunitapattani and Facebook: Sunita Pattani.