Negative self-talk

by MITA MISTRY

AS A therapist, it is extremely common and normal to see people getting ‘stuck in a rut’ and unable to move forward through challenges.

When I see this happening, it’s my duty to help by shedding light on behaviour and habits that are not serving someone’s best interests. Often, thoughts are the root cause of problems.

The mind can either be a powerful friend or your worst enemy and when not in control, it is easy to fall victim to doubt and worry, leading to negative self-talk.

But what is negative self-talk? You know that niggling voice that criticises you for not being good enough? Or the one that tells you everything must be perfect? While it’s great to achieve the best you can, problems arise when your self-worth becomes dependant on reaching an external goal or a state of perfection. Too much focus on seeking validation from outside robs you of feeling your true intrinsic worth.

I will be ‘good enough’ when I am in a relationship or when I have that perfect job are examples of cravings, which are often sources of unhappiness. Mostly because attachment to them leads to social comparison, which leaves you feeling inadequate and unworthy, causing detrimental consequences to your self-esteem and self-worth.

But by challenging the perception of ‘good enough’ it is possible to shift your reality and feel more content. You see, once you think and feel something is good enough you start to question why you would want to change it. And your mind stops racing all over the place, bringing a sense of calm as you start to feel more at ease with yourself and the world around you.

This happens simply because we become more present in the moment and accepting of life rather than the desire to search for more out there in the future.

Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. So, if your internal dialogue is negative and self-defeating, you will feel like you are on a downward spiral heading for a black hole.

However, the good news is you can reframe your thoughts. Using affirmations can programme and motivate your mind to act according to repeated words and trigger your subconscious mind to accept as true what you keep telling it.

You can try it and see if it works by feeding your mind with helpful uplifting messages that make you feel good. And of course, they will have a rippling effect of lifting those around you too. Try repeating these affirmations:

‘I am good enough’

‘I am perfect just as I am’

‘I have everything I need to get to where I

want to be’

‘I have enough’

‘I am not the negative thoughts I think’

No matter how hard it seems, you are in control of your thoughts. But to break the habit of negative self-talk you need to shift the gears in your brain to replace unhelpful thoughts with nourishing words of wisdom. And it is entirely and always possible.

www.mitamistry.co.uk & www.twitter.com/MitaMistry