How we met: Engaging and emotional love story conveys a message of hope

• MITA MISTRY
• 24 February, 2021

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By: MITA MISTRY

THIS beautiful memoir about finding love, loss, family dynamics and navigating two cultures takes the reader on an engaging journey of how the author met her partner, who is not of the same race.

It also looks at the trials and tribulations of being a Muslim woman in a western world and processing the grief of a beloved father’s death.

Qureshi, a romantic at heart, yearns to find love from a young age but often feels like she’s on the outside, not fitting in. Opening with an endearing conversation with her sons about how people meet, the memoir flits between the past and the present revealing insights into her upbringing.

Any second-generation south Asian will relate to the family and cultural pressures Qureshi shows very eloquently; from expectations around marriage, not being able to wear what you wish and relations with the opposite sex to match-making aunties and gossiping men in the community. It is that relatability, including her hiding entire truths from parents for fear of even tiniest truths being misinterpreted, that makes the memoir engaging.

With her revealing story Qureshi shows how many south Asian women subconsciously grew up with shame and guilt; it’s always the girl up to no good, say for wearing a skirt that was too short and it’s almost always the girl’s reputation at stake.

And any woman who has dared to have a relationship with a partner outside of her culture will understand the dilemma of balancing what it means to be who you truly are with your parent’s happiness.

In the present, Qureshi shines a light on motherhood and raising children with balancing a career. She once again articulately shows how south Asian women constantly are having to compromise or edit themselves.

Ultimately, this beautifully crafted memoir powered by Qureshi’s raw and gentle voice conveys a message of hope and that you are not alone. Her heartfelt words remind us of what matters and that happy endings are possible. It is a must-read for anyone who adores a love story packed with plenty of emotion.