Finding my tribe in an unexpected place

I turned 43 recently, and it was the best birthday of my life. Special for so many reasons. For the first time since my twenties, I spent my birthday abroad. (In case you were wondering – Phuket, Thailand.)

Last year, I impulsively booked myself onto my friend Urvashi’s mind, body and soul expansion experience. Since then, life has taken some unexpected turns – including being made redundant from my day job – so this trip could not have come at a better time.

Before leaving, I was apprehensive. I had never been to East Asia. Would I like it? Would I get on with the other women? Should I really be going on a two-week trip without a job? What vaccinations would I need? Would the street food give me Delhi belly?

I need not have worried. Within the first day, all my fears melted away. The group of women on the trip were inspiring – each there for her own reasons – and across the week, I connected with them in unique and beautiful ways.

We ranged in age from 37 to 53. Some of us were single, others married with grown-up children. Some were high-flying execs, others unemployed.

But there was no sense of hierarchy – no “I’m better than you.” Just acceptance.

It was a trip of firsts. I got up at 5.30am on my birthday to do a four-kilometre mountain hike to see the Big Buddha. I got in a kayak and floated in the middle of the ocean, despite being a terrible swimmer. I took a Thai cooking class and finally learned how to make some of my favourite dishes.

But the biggest lesson from this impactful trip was this: it is so important to find people who bring good energy, who listen without judgment. Surround yourself with those who offer wisdom and support, not force their opinions on you. Who remind you that you are respected. That you are loved.

For anyone feeling lost, unloved, or unsure of how to navigate life, know that your tribe might be out there, waiting to meet you in the most unexpected of places. I found a new sisterhood in just one week. So take a chance. Step out of your comfort zone. Do something you never imagined doing.

I will leave you with the words of Usha, who was on the trip: “We are all devis in our own way.” I dedicate this column to Jaymini, Leena, Nina, Usha, Iram and Rinku – for helping me in ways they may never fully understand.

And to my darling Urvashi, thank you for bringing us all together. You created magic. You gave me the best birthday gift I could ever have asked for.