Exclusive! “Even though I could never say it out loud, I always wanted to be an actress,” says Mrs. Femina 2021 Tapeshwari Sharma

Tapeshwari Sharma, who is a well-known name on Indian television, recently added one more feather to her cap. She won the first-ever Mrs. Femina 2021 crown after beating dozens of participants Femina had picked entirely through an online hunt over lockdown.

Mother to a 6-year-old son, Sharma is happy that the notion that only “fair and thin is beautiful” has changed drastically over the past few years, and she credits social media for the same. “It just makes me extremely happy and inspires me when I see all kinds of beautiful women pursuing their passion and telling the world that confidence is beautiful, vulnerability is beautiful, courage is beautiful, intelligence is beautiful, curvy is beautiful and so on,” she tells Eastern Eye.

In a candid conversation with EE, the actress-turned-beauty pageant winner also opens about how motherhood has changed her life, her deejaying career, and the limitless support that she receives from her husband and family to pursue her dreams.

How has life changed after winning the coveted Mrs. Femina 2021 crown?

Life hasn't changed much, thanks to the pandemic. Just kidding. Of course, it's a great honour to be known as the first Mrs. Femina. It has definitely changed people's outlook towards me. I feel that now they have more faith in me and a lot of opportunities are opening up. The only thing is the timing is a little crazy as not much can be done in a lockdown situation.

You are an actor, DJ, and now a beauty pageant winner. How do you juggle it all?

I know there is a lot on my plate and I am grateful for all of this. My passion, my planning, my consistency, and my hard work help me in making all of this work. Also, I have a very supportive husband and family and they are always there when I need help.

Being a beauty pageant winner, is there anything you would like to see change regarding beauty standards in India? 

I think a lot has changed over the years, especially in this age of social media. Beauty standards have definitely changed and it's no longer the same as “fair and thin is beautiful”. It just makes me extremely happy and inspires me when I see all kinds of beautiful women pursuing their passion and telling the world that confidence is beautiful, vulnerability is beautiful, courage is beautiful, intelligence is beautiful, curvy is beautiful and so on.

You were doing pretty well on television, what led you to bid goodbye to it in 2014? 

Honestly, bidding goodbye to television was never the plan. The plan was to take a leave for 3 months and then be back. Obviously, I had no idea what being a mother would be. Even though I really wanted to get back to television and start working, at that time, I did not have the heart to leave my baby and go for 13-14 hour-long shifts. Hats off to all the mothers who do that because I can understand what it takes for a mother to get back to work. Somehow, for me, it did not seem like an option anymore since I am a very possessive and hands-on mother. So, I had to figure something else out for myself which would not make me compromise my time with my child.

You are a mother to an adorable son, what would you say is the best part of being a mom?

My son gives me a purpose to live my life, not just for him but also for myself. I think it is because of him I am doing all these things which I never did or never would have done when I was single. It's funny how we take time for granted when we are carefree and not responsible to anyone. Being a mother has made me see my life in a different light and made me realise all the things I am capable of. The best part of being a mom is the unconditional love you feel for your child and the love that you get from them.

How was the entire process of transitioning back to work after your delivery? Was it difficult? Did you face any discrimination?

Television and acting were the only things I had done for years before having my baby. I did not know anything else. And since getting back to that was not an option for me anymore, so I had kind of settled with being a housewife until one day I realised I can do other things and still be there for my child. It took me a while to figure that out and when it struck me that I wanted to be a DJ, I was really happy. It was difficult because it was a completely different field that I was choosing and I needed training and classes and practice for that. I worked hard, took time out, went for classes, tried to do networking and eventually started working as a DJ. Now deejaying being a male-dominated field is definitely not very welcoming when it comes to female deejays, but I found some good mentors and supportive people who helped me not feel intimidated with this kind of setup. Most people have been very helpful and I thank all of them for being good to me.

Do you feel guilty when you have to step out leaving your son behind? How do you deal with it? 

Would I even be a good mother if I did not feel that (laughs)? Thankfully, I have a very loving and supportive family that helps me not feel too guilty. I anyway do not really leave my son behind a lot and even if I do sometimes, he is always with a family member. We have a rule in our family to never ever leave the kids alone with a house help or nanny, there should always be a family member with them. So that makes me feel much better that my son is always with either my husband or in-laws or my parents when I am away from him.

Did you ever anticipate becoming an actress? 

Always. For as long as I can remember I had wanted to be an actress, from the time I was a child. Even though I could never say it out loud, this is what I always wanted to do. Coming from a small town, the plan was to somehow reach Mumbai. And once I came here, I knew I would become an actor. And as destiny would have it, I was spotted outside my college, gave an introduction and got my first job as an actor with the production house that I had dreamed to work with Balaji Productions and even though it was a small role, it helped me get started on my journey of being an actor.

You are also a DJ, how did you become one?

I have always enjoyed dancing and listening to music and partying with friends. When I was trying to figure out what to do where I would not have to compromise my time with my child, this just suddenly struck me and I knew I was going to love being a DJ and that means I would have to work mostly on weekends and that too nights, leaving me with the whole week taking care of my child and his school and other things. So, it was just perfect. I found a good teacher, DJ Cyrus, who is a very talented and respected DJ in Mumbai. That is how I became a DJ.

You recently signed up with the Trell app. Tell us something about this collaboration?

After I won the title of Mrs Femina, I was approached by Trell to make content for them. Though I soon realised it was not for me and I am not working with them anymore.